Sunday, September 16, 2012

Happy 2nd Birthday, Sully!

Sully's birthday is September 19th. His 2nd. How do you celebrate your baby's birthday when they're not here? I don't know. Some have a small family gathering, some launch balloons or lanterns with family and friends. Some spend the day quietly with close family. This year, I am getting the heck out of dodge. I am going to fly away, and spend 4 days on the beach. There isn't a right or wrong. Do what you need to do, take care of yourself. That may sound selfish to some, but if you haven't been there you shouldn't judge.

September brings a lot of unanswered questions and a reminder of unfulfilled dreams. Is he 2 or is he forever 16 weeks 2 days? Does he have hair or teeth? Can he walk or talk? Are his eyes still so blue? Are his cheeks still squishably chubby? I don't know. I wish I did.

So, instead of celebrating with cake and ice cream, toy cars and balls I'll be leaving balloons and flowers at a cemetery. How messed up is that?!  Love your kids, don't take them for granted. They can be taken from you. Take pictures, lots of pictures. You will never regret having them, especially in this digital age. I'm going to post a few "new" pictures of my Sully. Obviously they aren't really new. They are just pictures I cropped the crap out of in order for me to have a few more close ups of my boy. If you are the person holding him and I've cropped you out. Sorry, nothing personal.

Happy Birthday, Sully! Mama loves and misses you


DFNY said...

Happy Birthday to your precious Sully. Thinking of you and praying that you are bathed in peace as your baby watches over you now. (I saw your comment on "An Inch of Gray" and came to visit you here.)


Jamie said...

Thank you! It is amazing how peace does wash over you when you think it's not possible. God is still good