2 Days old. His first night home. He was so, so tiny! 6lbs 1/2 oz, 17 3/4" long. Preemie diapers, preemie onesies, sleepers, pretty much preemie everything. His pediatrician and I had such a hard time finding a formula he could tolerate. Finally we landed on Carnation Good Start and he gained some weight. As small as he was he always had chubby cheeks. They were perfectly squeezable!
Thursday, September 19th, was Sully's 3rd birthday. All of them have been spent in heaven. The cemetery is a horrible place to spend your baby's birthday. There is just no getting used to it. This year I went up to Michigan for a few days. St. Joseph, MI, right on Lake Michigan. It is a beautiful place. For a long time I was alone on the beach to just watch and listen to the waves coming in. It has a long pier with a lighthouse. The weather wasn't great, but it matched my mood.
God's grace and the hope I have in Jesus Christ that I WILL see my baby boy again got me through the day. Honestly, they have gotten me through everyday since January 11, 2011. I don't know how anyone survives this without this hope. I certainly couldn't have!
Happy Birthday, Sullivan Conner! Mama loves you and misses you, but I will see you again!