You've maybe heard the saying "I've read the back of the book and God wins", well it's true. Am I still grieving? Yes. Do I still have hope? Yes. Am I happy? Sometimes. Do I have JOY? Yes. Satan does not win! He does not get to steal my joy. Yes, I am sad a lot. No, I don't understand. I may never understand in this lifetime. But, I can't see the eternal big picture. God painted the picture. He knows why, and I'm learning to just believe and accept. People ask how I'm doing and I don't know how to answer. Honestly, it depends on the day or the hour or the minute sometimes. I will be ok one minute, then something will just hit me and whammo! Not ok anymore. So, if you want to help. Pray for peace and strength. Right now there are areas in my life that I'm trying to move forward in. There are big decisions to be made. They are scary, but yet I have peace about the direction I'm taking.
Now, remember that gift from God that I told you I'd be sharing about? No, yes? Well, I'm going to tell you about him. Karter Charles McDonald 8lbs, 7 oz and 22". He was born March 5th. His parents are my close friends Greg and Charlene McDonald (also my pastor and pastor's wife). He is an absolutely gorgeous answer to prayer. He has 2 big sisters Kristen and Kelsey who love on him as much as possible. And he has a big brother Kaleb who is rejoicing with the angels and singing praises to God for this new baby with his new best friend Sully. Greg and Charlene did not let satan win! They remained obedient and faithful even in the tragedy of Kaleb's death. They continued to praise God. They continued to serve faithfully, even when staying home and in bed would have been the easy way. Through this, they were able to raise enough money to purchase an ultrasound machine for the Women's Resource Center. This in turn, has touched countless lives. One being Karter's biological mother. She did not abort this little boy. She carried him to term and Greg and Charlene were able to adopt this little (not so little) baby boy. They have been telling his story and praising our Saviour ever since! This woman will forever be remembered in their prayers and in mine.
6 days before Sully died I stopped by the church in the afternoon to visit with Charlene for a late lunch. We talked about our boys and the future. Sully had outgrown his basinett and many of his newborn and 0-3 month clothes. So, we talked about Karter using some of Sully's things. We talked about how we wouldn't exactly be the youngest moms out there :). We had plans. We didn't know how drastic our plans would change less than a week later. Admittedly this made things a little harder. A little painful. But, it did not change the miracle that is Karter! He is a gift to be cherished. ALL babies are gifts to be cherished! Does it still hurt to hold him? Yes, sometimes. But I will hold this baby that I already loved before he was born. If it hurts, it hurts. God hasn't called me to a life lived in hiding. He will be my strength when I have none. He will poor his grace on me as he has been doing all along.
Now, here is KARTER CHARLES MCDONALD: